I was watching Tyra last week, and she had a show on mothers, and the topics were about extended breastfeeding and stay-at-home moms vs. working moms, and the eternal mommy wars. Who does their job better? I was so incredibly disappointed in this show because it was not at all objective, and it made me have a little less respect for Tyra and her producers, because they allowed an incredible amount of bias against the mothers who were still breastfeeding and stay-at-home moms (SAHMs for the rest of this post).
I was so mad, it took me this long to write about it. I actually wrote the show and left two comments that were not posted on the website, which I am incredibly disappointed about, but hey, they have the right to pick and choose what comments they want, right? I popped in a little late, and so I didn’t see the very first segment of the show, but I came in where a woman named Veronika (who i’d actually heard about before on Youtube) was talking about how she was still breastfeeding her two daughters, one of whom is 8.5 years old.
Now, i’m not mad at her for continuing to breastfeed her children at that age because I know it’s benefits (antibodies, cognitive development, oxytocin, bonding, etc), and it even pushes the limits of my comfort levels, but who am I, or anyone to say that she is a horrible person for it? Well, most of the women in the audience felt that they needed to tell her how disgusting it was, how she was self centered and has issues with “letting her children go”, and it was even suggested (by the so-called “psychotherapist no less) that she has intimacy issues that she needs to seek help for.
Women said things like, if they’re old enough to ask for it, you shouldn’t be breastfeeding them, that it was the most disgusting thing they’d ever heard, that she probably had no sex life because (it was automatically assumed) her husband couldn’t possibly be attracted to her. She said it was quite the opposite, that her husband was more turned on by her because of what she was doing for their girls.
I was absolutely appalled at what I was hearing from these women. Then I had to remember how uniformed women are in this country about their bodies, and particularly their breasts. In America, breast have become synonymous with sex, when their primary use is to FEED OUR CHILDREN. In other countries, it is not unheard of for women to breastfeed their children until they are 7 or 8 years old, in fact, it’s only here and the UK that women routinely breastfeed for 6 months or less, or not at all (even though the World Health Organization recommends 2 years AND BEYOND http://www.who.int/child_adolescent_health/topics/prevention_care/child/nutrition/
breastfeeding/en/index.html).
In fact, a while ago, Anthony and I heard about a story of a 7 year old Indian boy who was at school sick, and his mom came to the school to nurse him, and he started to feel better. Don’t get me wrong, 8 years old definitely tests my comfort levels, but that woman should have a choice on whether or not she wants to feed her girls, and she should not be ridiculed and looked at as a freak because she does. Women don’t realize how detrimental it is to give a child formula, and if they did, they wouldn’t give it to their children. (I’ll talk A LOT more about breastfeeding vs. formula in later posts)
Now, on the to the SAHM vs. working moms debate. This is what REALLY got me…
Filed under: TV shows, mommy wars | Tagged: daycare, disappointed, extended breastfeeding, mommy wars, SAHM disgrace, stay at home moms, weak, weak representation, weepy, working moms
I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE BREASTFEEDING A 8 YEARS IS DUMB AND THERE IS ISSUES THERE WITH THAT WOMEN
Brandy, I appreciate your response, but I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I said that breastfeeding an 8 year old tested the boundaries of my comfort levels, but that she should be able to feed her children without feeling ridiculed or ostracized. I don’t think what she’s doing is “dumb”, or that she has issues.
I’m not really concerned about the MOM’s issues…but what kind of issues will her daughter have? I started my period at 9 years old. I was interested in boys. And wanted to go to sleep overs and outtings.
I could definitely understand if Viktoria PUMPS milk for her eight year old…I’m the FIRST one to say HUMAN milk for HUMAN babies….but the act of actual BREAST FEEDING a child that age seems like it would bring some issues with adjustment and sociallization in the child.
Its my understanding that four to five years of breast feeding is long enough to ensure your kids get the right anti-bodies and thing to avoid innoculation. Beyond that, most non-westen cultures don’t consume dairy at all anyway. Human, Cow, goat or otherwise.
are you kidding me breast feeding your daughter till shes 8,5 years old ..thats disgusting and that woman should be thrown in jail its totally taboo..Especailly since she decided to go on national televison to discuss this ..how do you think kids around your daughter are goin to react to her ..shes ruined her daughters life and its totally inappropiate for an 8 year old girl to be suckin on her mothers breast..its like allowing a dad to keep washin his sons penis at the age of 9 come on now ..
this is the sad part of the segment, it only focused on the woman with the 8 year old child. What about women with 8 month olds? that woman is a rarity.
When i hear debates about breastfeeding, I only find the counter argument being “you can’t breastfeed your child at age 5″ who said anything about that? let’s talk about the benefits of breastfeeding. Let’s talk about the benefits of having one parent, ANY parent, stay at home.
instead we get freak shows.
I think Tyra is as fine as all out doors, but i think GOd gifts to her stop right there.
Girl, i stopped watching Tyra a long time ago when i realized that her audience and therapist were all crazy. Even though I didnt see the episode you are talking about I have to say that there is absolutly nothing wrong with brestfeeding a child at 8.5 years of age. Like you said, women in other countries do it all the time. I just think that America is so conservative about stuff like this, and personally I hate it.
I think giving your children pumped breast milk until 8 or so is fine. It’s the actual latching on at that age that disturbs me. But I really do see the beneifts of the child continuing to get breast milk into the elementary school years.